I just keep saying this over and over today.
Today marks the second situation we were considered for but were not chosen.
The first situation I spoke about in my last blog post. We were told that we were a "really close second" choice for that birth mom.
This second situation, I was so sure about. I had a feeling. We received the e-mail for it on our anniversary. It was a girl. There were all these signs, I thought. It was us and one other couple. I knew we would be chosen. I started making plans in my head. I was ready for my life to change.
And then it didn't.
This was going to be a hard situation (the mother is addicted to drugs). It was going to be weeks in the NICU, and other potential problems. But we were ready. We were ready.
And then, we got the e-mail..."Unfortunately, you were not chosen for this situation..."
I felt blindsided. I feel so sad.
However; I KNOW our baby is out there. And we definitely learned from this situation. We learned that we are a little more open to non-perfect babies then we thought we were.
In the words of Walt Disney, we must "keep moving forward".
Thank goodness for the support network we have.
I am sad today. I am allowed to be sad today. Tomorrow is a new day. I will be okay. I know we will be amazing parents. We will love this baby so much. I even think we love our future baby a little more every time we are not chosen.
Until then, I will keep busy. I will spend time with my friends. I will lose myself in books and television shows. I will enjoy my 800 children that I teach. I will go to Disney.
I will keep moving forward...
Until next time,
"DNA doesn't make a family, love does." - The Fosters