Wednesday, July 23, 2014

It's Complicated

I feel like all I have done is stare at this paperwork for the last few days.  It is super overwhelming.  I am constantly afraid that we are going to answer a question wrong or our house won't be good enough or Phoebe won't behave when we have our home inspection.  The giant hole (firepit/jacuzzi) in our backyard doesn't help either!  This is how I am though.  I am always afraid of doing something wrong.  I just have to keep it in my head that the end of this process results in a child.

On to something else...

Yesterday we had our phone meeting with Heart of Adoptions.  Our major concern/question for them was about the cost.  Obviously, a child is worth any of the cost, but the difference in cost between Catholic Charities and Heart of Adoptions is a TON.  Catholic Charities will end up costing about $17,700.  Of that, $1,200 is for the home inspection and the rest we pay after we take home a child.  Heart of Adoptions could end up costing anywhere from $25,000 to $40,000.  That is a big difference!  We did find out yesterday, though, that you only pay about $3,000 up front for Heart of Adoptions and you do not pay any more until you are matched with a birth mom.  Our worry was that we sign up with Heart of Adoptions AND Catholic Charities, get matched with Catholic Charities, and lose all our money with Heart of Adoptions.  This isn't the case. (Yay!)  So, it looks like we will go through Heart of Adoptions AND Catholic Charities.  Casting the net wider will only hellp =)

Luckily, we will only have to do one home inpspection (phew!).  So we will do that through Catholic Charities and then have to pay a small fee to use it for Heart of Adoptions.  We can also use the same profile for both.  However, we now have two mountains of paperwork to go through. =/

After our phone call, we went to get FBI finger printing done.  We are both getting our medical record forms taken care of this week too.  We have a busy weekend coming up, but the weekend after that will be spent filling out all of the paperwork.

I have had a bunch of people reach out on Facebook to help in any way they can.  That has really been surprising (in SUCH a good way).  =)  Thanks to everyone who did that!

Until next time...

Katie
"DNA doesn't make a family, love does." - The Fosters

Thursday, July 17, 2014

One Small Step...

First of all, I have to say how incredibly touched I am by the amount of support I have gotten via Facebook and my POF Facebook group.  I thought a few people might be interested in this blog, but the amount of comments and likes I have gotten is astounding.  It really warms my heart =)

Today was our appointment at Catholic Charities.  This was basically an introduction to the adoption process if we decide to go with them (which we certainly will!).  Here is a run down of what we found out:

The process could take anywhere from days (once we are on the waiting list) to years.  The average time people wait is less than two years.  This is what we were expecting so no surprises there.  Catholic Charities in Gainesville did nine adoptions last year and the waiting list is about twenty families long.  I must say, I kind of like that it is a smaller number of families as opposed to some of the bigger agencies.  Our next step will be to complete our home study.  We have made an appointment for August 8th to start this process.  In the mean time, the lady with whom we will be meeting (Geralyn) sent us the paperwork that we need to get started with.  This is where it gets complicated!  We need to fill out a thirty page application, get county background checks, get FBI background checks, get a medical form filled out by our doctors, and get five reference forms and letter from family and friends.  Most of the forms are pretty straight forward, but the application is really complicated.  It asks questions that I haven't ever even thought of.  I guess that is a good thing, but it certainly feels overwhelming at the moment.  Along with these forms, we will have several visits as a couple and individually with Geralyn and then she will come to our house to check everything out (hopefully Pheebs will be on her best behavior!).  While we are doing all of the paperwork and visits, we also need to work on a profile for potential mothers to look at.

PHEW! This is going to be a lot of work.  I guess that's where the term "paper pregnancy" comes from ;-)

This should all be completed by October and then we will be put on a waiting list.  The next step will be someone hopefully choosing us!  Here is how this works:

Birth moms make a list of qualities they are looking for in prospective parents for their children, and Catholic Charities find the top five couples on their list who meet that criteria (starting from people who have been on the list the longest).  A birth mom could pick us out as soon as six weeks into her pregnancy.  This is not ideal though.  Catholic Charities tries to help convince the birth mom that waiting until the third trimester is the best time to make a decision.  There could also be a birth mom who gives birth and decides all the sudden that she wants to give her baby up.  We could get a call that we are getting a baby immediately.  This is definitely a lot less predictable than a nine month pregnancy would have been, but that's okay!

Mike and I feel really good about the meeting we had today!

The lady we met with today said the best thing we could do to help ourselves is to spread the word.  If you know of anyone, or if you know of anyone who KNOWS anyone who is looking to give a baby up for adoption, please contact us.  She said that is how mothers and adoptive parents get matched a lot of the time.  

One more random thing for the day.  At Publix, I was buying a card for someone and found these cards...


I have NEVER seen adoption cards before!  I'm sure they existed, but I thought it was interesting that I saw them today of all days =)

Until next time...

Katie
"DNA doesn't make a family, love does." - The Fosters

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Let's start from the very beginning...

About a year ago, I got the devastating news that I have Premature Ovarian Failure.  Essentially, this means that I have been through menopause and my ovaries do not work (hence the "failure").  Technically, there is a 5% chance of conceiving naturally, but I've never been lucky when it comes to my health =/.  Unfortunately, I can't say that I was surprised by this diagnosis.  I have had health problems all my life, and I knew in my heart that having a baby would not be easy for me.  My husband, Mike, and I were given the option of egg donation.  There was not one part of me that wanted to do that.  It is definitely the right decision for some people, but not me. 

Immediately, adoption seemed like the right choice.  I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, and I think this happened so that Mike and I can be parents to a child who would not otherwise have parents.  Finding out I had POF was such a huge deal to Mike and me that we wanted to make sure we thought long and hard about what we wanted to do.  

It has been almost a year now, and we are diving into the adoption process.  Tomorrow, we have a meeting with Catholic Charities in Gainesville.  Tuesday, we have a phone meeting with Heart of Adoptions.  I am very excited to find out how we start the process!  

I never thought I would be a "blogger".  I don't like to write very much.  My hopes with starting this blog are these:
1.  When I get depressed, sad, frustrated or tired of waiting for a baby; I can look back at the parts of the blog when I was excited and happy!
2.  When my child gets older, they can read for themselves about the journey they took to get to wear they belong.
3.  I hope that this blog might help one person who may be going through the same thing I am.

The title of my blog actually comes from a TV show (shocking for those of you who know me;-)).  It comes from "The Fosters", and  it is the theme song to the show:
"It's not where you come from, it's where you belong..."

That's my outlook at the moment.  I think about my future child and where they come from is not as important as where they belong...with Mike and me.

Until next time...

Katie <3

"DNA doesn't make a family, love does"