This is only the paperwork for Catholic Charities. We haven't even touched Heart of Adoptions paperwork.
It actually has not been too bad working on the paperwork. It has been eye opening to Mike and I. We have had to answer some tough questions:
How much alcohol/drugs/ tobacco use are you comfortable with the birth mother using?
What kind of social and medial problems are you comfortable with the child having?
What religion will you raise your child to be?
What kind of parent will you be?
That isn't even the tip of the iceberg. These are some really hard things to think about. I struggle with wanting to be a good person and saying that we would take any child, but I don't think we can. If we were to get pregnant and give birth to a severely disable child, then it would be a different story. Can we knowingly CHOOSE to have a child who is severely disabled? I don't think so. Does this make me a bad person? I don't know. That is something I have been struggling with.
Religion is a tricky thing for us too. And "What kind of parents will we be?"? How do you know that before you're a parent?
It is SO much to think about. I have had insomnia for the past week or so because this is all running through my head. I got up the other morning at 2:00AM and ordered an adoption book because I feel like we should be educating ourselves more.
The fun part for me about the paperwork has been reliving my childhood. There are five pages that ask about me and my childhood and my family. I had an amazing childhood and have a pretty great family. When I write about that, I picture my future child on Disney Cruises with my family, at Christmas time and Thanksgiving with my Aunts and Uncles, singing while my Dad plays guitar, being spoiled by my Mom (probably at Kohl's), being goofy with my brother. And that's only MY family. Thinking about my future child with Mike's huge family warms my heart too. If my future child only knew how much love he or she is in store for! :)
We had a meeting today with Geralyn at Catholic Charities. She will basically be with us through this whole process. Mike and I both really really like her! She is very relaxed, but thorough. She makes me feel much less overwhelmed about everything. We have been concerned with educating ourselves about parenting and, specifically, parenting an adopted child. She told us that she will be doing lots of education with us and we will go to a class in December. I am so excited to do this class, especially to meet people who are going through the same thing we are. There is also some kind of cookout in November (Adoption Awareness Month) that I am looking forward to also. We can meet people who have been through the process and pick their brain.
The next step (besides the never ending paperwork that we are about 25% through with) is that we will meet individually with Geralyn so she can get to know each of us better. I meet with her on Tuesday, and Mike meets with her the following week. In the mean time, I am looking at all the cute Disney things I can buy for my future baby and his or her nursery on Pinterest.
Until next time...
Katie
"DNA doesn't make a family, love does." - The Fosters
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