As of April 6, 2015; we have officially been on the waiting list for six months. In most adoption cases, this isn't a long time to be waiting. The average adoption through Catholic Charities takes two years. That being said, I really thought that we would be only waiting a few months. I figured..."a teacher and an engineer who love Disney!? Who WOULDN'T pick us!?" While I know that we will get picked and I am not REALLY in any hurry, I still find myself with hurt feelings. I know our book has been looked at a few times. But, obviously, we were not picked. I find myself wondering and wondering why they didn't pick us. I look at our book over and over trying to find something that someone didn't like. The logical side of my brain KNOWS that we will get picked. It WILL happen. Everything happens for a reason. That's my belief in life. I just have to keep reminding myself.
On another note, I have talked to several people about possibly adopting in the future. It makes me SO HAPPY to be able to help other people, even just a little. Infertility is heartbreaking. Period. Adoption is a wonderful thing. It's also difficult and trying. But, if I can help anyone even the tiniest bit, that feeds right into my "everything happens for a reason" philosophy.
I am also catching up with an old friend this upcoming weekend who is going through the adoption process as well! I can't wait. It will be so nice to talk to someone who is in my same situation. She understands.
I have considered myself an expectant mother since October. Lately, I've realized that expectant adoptive mothers go through "pregnancy brain" as well! I am one of the most organized people I know. And recently, I have been misplacing things, spacey, etc... After some research, I realized that it is completely normal for an adoptive mother to go through this. Thank God. I am normal. I am not physically pregnant, but my brain and heart are preparing for a child. All my feelings are valid.
Lastly, I was on my way home from school today feeling especially down, and this song came on. I am convinced that THIS SONG came on for a reason. <3 This how I imagine I will feel when the time comes and we are given a child.
Until Next Time,
Katie
A Thousand Years by Christina Perri
The day we met,
Frozen I held my breath
Right from the start
I knew that I'd found a home for my heart...
... beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more...
I'll love you for a thousand more...
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
